I finally decided to share Deborah’s story…
THERE IS SOMEONE OUT THERE WHO LOVES YOU.
Okay, i think i am strong enough to do this now;I hope this inspires you.
My name is Deborah and i am in my late twenties. I sincerely want you to stay strong and believe in yourself after reading this piece of mine.And also please don’t judge me as i am aware there are still lots of my kind out there;Though i’m way better than i used to be.I will try to hit the nail on the head and spare you the stress of reading too much.
I have dated close to seven guys since i started dating and i can boldly say i loved them all wholeheartedly.Did they love me as much as i did? I really do not think so.I saw myself trying to work all my relationships out…
I always got emotionally drained as i was the only one trying to make it work.
Lesson 1:-Relationship is a two man commitment-The law of reciprocity is what makes relationships work.
I remember vividly my second relationship*DAYO*he Almost made me a spy as he made me doubt everything he was up to. There was no atom of truth in everything he said.I did not believe his words as he took my trust for granted on several occasions. One of the days we were out having fun,he got a call from a girl and he barely could stop laughing and smiling sheepishly after the call ended,and the last thing that kept ringing on my mind were his last words”Oh dear,you never cease to amaze me;you know i always want to listen to your sweet voice”with smiles all over his face…i just had to say something really fast as i was loosing my mind already”Dayo i said aloud,are you cheating on me?Are you seeing somebody else?You really have to speak to me.Who just called you?”He looked at me with a smile on his face and said”Common,you have to calm down,that was my colleague from office she just likes to talk to me,he continued”.Did i believe that?Oh yes i tried to but i found it really difficult to.From that time on,i watched every move he made,calls he received and messages sent and received.I was loosing it,One day he caught me in my business of trying to spy through his phone as usual and that day was the last of the relationship as he said he couldn’t stand my insecurity issues. I wept and felt heart broken because i really loved him as he came into my life and restored joy and happiness after my first love left me without a cogent reason.Obviously i found out eventually that Dayo was seeing that girl.
Lesson 2:-Any relationship without trust ends eventually
Lesson 3:-No relationship should begat a negative attitude in you(spying)
It’s not worth it if you have to be a spy
Other relationships i had aside the first,second and last just ended somehow. I cant really add a tale to it but i know it wasn’t just meant to last long and i was not ready to fight for it. I think i lost the zeal to keep any other,most especially as the first and second did not work.
Was i ready to date again?Was i ready for another drama in my life?I had thoughts flowing through my mind and i had my age to consider as well.I was no longer a child and needed a stable relationship.But how can i forget how difficult it gets for me to heal after a heartbreak?I break down completely.
I gave myself (6 )months to stay with no commitment and heal completely.then i met my last mystery.
Dave!!!Everything i wanted was everything he was not.we disagreed on virtually everything.we barely had good talks as almost everything ended with a quarell. Okay i really don’t get it,why do i keep meeting the wrong ones?Why am i not so lucky with guys…I thought aloud but i saw myself still trying to work it out as i always try to do.
Just to cut the long story short,that relationship ended.Did i cry?Oh yes like a child.It took me a longer time to heal from this one as i thought since i took so long to stay without committing to anybody,I could get the best this time but i was completely wrong again.
As at my last relationship i was 25years of age.
I sat down one day took a walk through my life and i realized i have been trying to do it my own way all along as i depended on what i knew how to do best.I decided to speak to a friend i respect and hold on a very high esteem*ebijanded*as she is fondly called by friends and loved ones and by me too(smiles) i felt better after that time.I cannot forget her words and how i listened carefully to her.
These were her words in quotes
“Debby my good friend,i have to be very honest with you,you are a strong woman and i must commend your efforts towards trying to make all your relationships workout.You did a great job.But i would like to draw your attention to somethings that are most important and if you take my advice today,i believe you will stand boldly to tell other people this because of a truth,it works…”
I have also had my shares from relationships myself;confusing times,hurt moments and regrets.Oh of course many heart breaks,but since i was advised by someone i respect so much,i have been enjoying my peace”Debby first and foremost seek God!”
Honestly when she said this,i looked straight into her eyes,gave a mocking laughter because of course she knew i was seeking God and as a matter of fact i am a committed worker in church;so i did not understand where that was coming from.But she continued with a total conviction of what she was saying”Yes seek him!!!Remember Matthew 6:33…Do you think God is not interested in your stable relationship?Do you think he cares less about your desire and as a matter of fact, God is not happy when we hurt. But in all sincerity have you ever prayed before getting into a relationship or pray for your relationships? WOW! I sighed! In all sincerity i have not…She looked into my eyes,held my hand and said”when i was advised in this regard,I smiled but i decided to take it and today i’m grateful to God i did. “He loves and cares for you,just keep seeking Him and i tell you,in no time,He would come through for you. Keep doing what you are doing for God but ensure that your trust is in Him completely. Just ensure to call me when the big news comes and don’t forget to tell others this”.She ended her words by giving me a warm hug .Of course i took the advice and thank God i am reaping the benefit today and of a truth i can share this with you today.
To cut the long story short,the advice worked. Just when i took my mind off dating and commitments; i met this young charming young man named Karlex .Who by the special Grace of God i would be getting married to soonest and of course i would be inviting my dear friend Ebijanded. Karlex might not be everything i always dreamt of but we are simply compatible and he is ready to take me for who i am and make it work no matter what.
I hope this inspires and change your mindset about relationships.Thanks for your time. I hope you share this piece of mine dear Ebijanded. Thanks you very much for your friendship.
GREAT LESSONS FROM THIS STORY
- You need a wise friend.
- Relationships work because two persons decides to fight for it. FACT:- When one person is fighting to keep a relationship,the other perceives them as being *desperate*and that can be emotionally draining.
- Seek God first and trust Him completely.
- There is no perfect or special someone for anyone;you only make your SPECIAL.
- You may never know how strong you are until u let go what breaks you down and makes you feel like a second best.
- Yes,you can be broken but be strong enough to pick up your pieces and be you again.
- This thing called love and commitment requires work and patience;you must be ready and willing to pay the price to make it work.
- There is still someone out there who loves and cares for you. Do not settle for less than you deserve.